...

I have not started studying until now...
because for the past week, more than a week, i was sick.

crazy illness

now i am considering two things

1. to die die study and maintain the scholarship
2. to start over again in the Philippines and wait for another few years before i get my degree

Somehow it felt unfair that i missed the whole week just because i was sick. Insanely sick.

But you know, the only person I can blame is myself.
I don't have a dream.
I am not motivated.
I have a weakened body.

I am thinking that it better be the end of the world so I wont have to think of these things. Escapism.

These are the challenges of life.

If I will get beaten up...Then...

I will just have to start over, somewhere, somehow.